Coming Out Stories

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"I was on a road trip with my parents and was in charge of music selection. I played My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay followed by Boys Boys Boys followed by It's Raining Men followed by I'm Coming Out.

After the second Boys Boys Boys they asked, "Sweetie, are you trying to tell us you're gay?" I mhmm'd, and we don't really talk about it at all, since it's really not a big deal."

- Andrew Z.

 

"I came out publicly February 26th, 2019, a few close friends and family knew but the rest of the world didn't know. I posted my true identity and the way I felt on my facebook story, I got so many of my friend text me and say they were so happy for me and it made me feel great, then I got a message for a person on my friend's list telling me I was a disease. It took me from the top of the day to the bottom.

I'd been hiding who I was for years, hiding from my community (I live in a predominantly Mormon/LDS community). I'd gone out in public a few times with a friend and once alone. It wasn't that bad when I looked decent.  But then May 2019 came. I was looking forward to a GSA - LGBTQ+ prom in my area and I felt great the day of, but as I walked through the door and into the ballroom, I heard a group of gossip b****** off to my right say in a very mocking tone "Oh my god, look at that girl, she's a guy!!" (followed by a few insults I wasn't meant to hear).   I've since gotten over that but it's that terrible feeling surrounded by insecurities that stopped me from starting my new school year as a young lady."

- Dakota J.

 

"So I just came out to my very religious family. It went kinda good? I wasn't planning on coming out but I was unable to get hold of my emotions and my f**king mouth. It started because of a post I made earlier on FB about religion. I meant for it as something to think about but then my mother read it and went straight to me to assert her religious belief. The argument we had escalated and she asked the question if I was gay. Then I straight up answered her "YES". A big fat YES. Drama then settled in after.

My mother is upset about it, my sister was disappointed while our elder sister was fine, my father was being stoic and our youngest sister doesn't know it yet. My mother and 2 of my sister thinks I can be "healed" and as long as I don't have sex with another man they accept me. I could hear the disgust they had from the way they were saying the sex part. I kept on insisting that being gay isn't some kind of illness that can be treated.

Now here comes my dilemma. My mother was clearly hurt from the nuke I just dropped on them. I feared that this would happen, I am the only son and the stories my mother and father would share about how happy they were when they brought me to this world. The story of when she was carrying me in her womb that she got obsessed about this diaper commercial that had a baby boy in it. Also, I am her favorite child. I may have broken her heart and it is worrying me so much right now.

- Erick Q.

 

"When I told my dad, I didn't know that my little sister had come out to them the week before. So I think he was more dazed than anything else.

Also, I had just broken up with my boyfriend, so I came out by saying I might like to date girls next. My mom thought I was joking, and said "Oh yeah, I always say that life would be so much easier if I could date women." My dad cuts in and goes, 'She's serious.'"

- Vanessa A.

 

"When I came out to my very religious dad, I was, of course, scared about how he would react to me not being what he thought I was this whole time. I had almost acted feminine and hid my feelings for other people, rather than just boys, just to make him happy, and that was making me more depressed, so I finally came out. He was upset with me and yelled at me, but he eventually settled down. He doesn't accept me, but he doesn't hate me and doesn't not love me, so I guess that's ok. I do have a very acceptive mom and I couldn't be happier that at least one parent is supportive of who I am."

- Anonymous

 

"When I was 16, I told my sister (15) and brother (13) I was gay & had a crush on a girl. My sister couldn't care less but my brother didn't believe me at all. When I was 17 I attempted suicide, and one of the reasons included in my letters was that I felt disgusting liking girls and knew my family would hate me. A few days later, my mum told me I was ruining my life over a phase. Well, instead of hiding, I slowly started getting gayer: splashing rainbows everywhere, listening to LGBT music, talking about girls, etc. It became the worst kept secret; nobody was acknowledging it but everybody knew. Fast forward to 21 and my mum admitted for the first time I was a lesbian. Now at 22 I openly have a girlfriend, and all my close family and anybody that I have on Facebook know. Things truly do get better."

- Reise B.

 

"I was 16 when I came out as bi ( 17 and pan now) and what I did to come out was I put it as my facebook status to see how people would take it. I was afraid of rejection and my family hating me but turns out it has gotten better since I came out. I still have no idea how to come out as gender-fluid to them though and that is the one I fear but maybe I can do the same trick with it and possibly get the same results. My life has gotten so much better since I came out!"

- JJ V.

 

"I watched the music video for "The Village" with my family. For those who haven't seen it, the video features a transgender man struggling to come out to his non-supportive family. At the end of the video he paints a really beautiful painting with a really good message. I decided to make my own version of the painting. My mom saw it when I was done and she told me she understood the message. We had a good talk, but we were still far from full acceptance. It took time but now she finally calls me her son and I'm getting my name legally changed soon and I just started testosterone. :) "

- Simon C.

 

"I am Pansexual and Polyamorous. My dad and 2 of my siblings support me, but my mom and her family don’t support me and don’t understand why I am who I am. As a child I was raped by my former stepfather. My brain repressed it for 10 years. I found comfort in music. I came to terms with who I am through having a supportive father and through people like Jeffree Starr, RuPaul, and having the amazing couple I have to be by my side during the rough times and there to love and support me."

- Josephine R.

 

"I didn't even really come out to my family on purpose. They kind of peaked in the closet and I gave a little wave. See, I had written a short story and the main characters, both male, happened to be in a relationship. It was a cute little domestic scene, and I was really proud of it, so I wanted to show my parents. At the time, I didn't even really realize that it was gay. I mean, of course I knew, but it didn't strike me as a big deal. I had accepted myself for a few years at that point, and I've luckily had very accepting friends from the start, so it's never seemed like a big obstacle for me. So when my (very religious) mother gets through reading my piece and asks me to come talk to her and my dad, it hits me, and I don't even have time to figure out what I'm feeling. She sat me down and asked if I was gay, to which I responded that I was pansexual. A bit of explanation as to what being pan even is needed to happen. Now, my dad's fine with it, and my mom never outwardly said she didn't accept me but always makes sure to tell me how weird it is if she sees me watching/reading something lgbtq+ friendly (like Steven Universe, for example). Hopefully mom will open up her mind soon, though this was nearing three years ago, but to be honest I'm just glad it wasn't worse. Most of my family (and community, since I live in such a small area) knows I'm queer at this point, and the vast majority of them are completely fine with it, so everything's been going pretty good."

- Anonymous

 

"So I’m pretty sure I was in sixth grade when I came out to my mom (as my mom and dad are not together) that I was bisexual and she was fine with it. If anything it added to her teasing me about liking people. Now instead of just saying “Is there any boys at school that are cute?” She can ask if there are any girls or boys. But with my dad it was a somewhat different story. I was in eighth grade and dating a girl who is still my best friend but no longer girls friend. And I had been texting her off of my phone and my step mom somehow saw and came to talk with me. She told me that it was fine and the accepted me but she said I should tell my dad, which with just the thought scared me. So instead I asked her if she could tell my dad for me. She agreed, went upstairs and began to talk to him about it. I swear the only thing I heard of his response was 'At least she won’t get pregnant.'"

-Alexanndra S.

 

I came out to my parents on National Coming-Out Day when I was 16 years old. I was coming home from sneaking out with my boyfriend at the time, and I didn’t tell my family that I was with him because he was comforting me about the bullying I was experiencing that day in school for being bisexual. I came home late that night and my parents saw my location and confronted me that I wasn’t where I told them I was. I started crying and told them that I was with my boyfriend, meanwhile they’re confused why I’m crying. They sat me down and asked me what was wrong, and I started to talk about how I had to tell them something that was serious. My parents are now freaking out asking for me to tell them what it is. I eventually work up the nerve to tell them I was bisexual, and to my surprise they both exhaled in relief and said “Thank gosh!” Me, very confused, asked them why in the world they had that reaction, and they said “We’ve known you were attracted to girls since you were little, but we thought that since you were sneaking out with your boyfriend and you were crying that you were pregnant at 16!” We all had a good laugh afterwards and all was fine, and I am still so grateful that my parents were so accepting.

-Julia T.