Arson/Achilles/Tyler's Coming Out Story!

Hi! My name is Arson/Achilles/Tyler. I use they/he pronouns and this is my coming out story!

I remember being in 4th or 5th grade when my sexuality crisis started, talking with my friends, and I went with the term bi for a while. My dad told me that I was too young and my mom didn’t acknowledge it much (she knew), and it stayed that way, up until about 7th grade. I hadn’t told my parents anything but my friends would try and slip in Tyler every so often, and refer to me as he until I felt comfortable enough to tell my mom on December 25th, 2019. It didn’t go as planned... she told me i was going through a phase everyone had. She hated when my friends called me Tyler and didn’t seem like she would support me, even though her fiancé is trans.

I felt alone and disconnected from my family because I wasn’t accepted the way he was. My first haircut “boy length” was in February 2020. Even though it looked bad, I loved it. It was a start! I tried coming out to my mom in around- June 2020 and she told me that it wasn’t enough time and that I was rushing it etc. I finally convinced her to call me Tyler and tried to find a binder the size for me, which took about 4 tries (thanks GC2b.. /s) Once I got one though, I felt confident enough to come out to my father. I hadn’t stayed at his house in a few months, so him and i went to get ice cream, and in the car i told him. Rather than accepting me normally, he grew selfish. He got mad I didn’t tell him until after my mom, and upset i didn’t let him choose my name.

This really hurt, because this was my thing that he made entirely about him. During the majority of 2020, I went by he/him, was extremely misogynistic, and would dress in stereotypical “men’s” clothes because I just wanted to fit in. A few months later, as I found myself more, i decided with the current pronouns I have today (they/he) and identify as nonbinary and queer.

Thank you for listening to my journey so far. I love you all!